After being threatened with the sack by the Oxtonovic United Board if he didnt turn around the clubs dismal form, manager Stuvart Oxtonovic has made a big gamble and dealt with the notoriously slippery customer Paolo Di Currio. Sacrificing players in full fitness in the hope that Fernando Torres makes a miraculous recovery and doesnt miss the rest of the season.

The deal has been confirmed as: Michael Owen, Joe Cole, Landon Donavon & Bobby Zamora for Fernando Torres, SWP, Victor Moses & 0.2m